Looking back at my senior year, and I'm realizing there's a lot of things I should have said. Now that everyone is gone, I don't have that chance anymore. I feel like I missed telling someone something that could have changed how things turned out. Maybe I would have been happier if I had; maybe they wouldn't be so far away... I wish I could go back and say what I wanted to when it would have made a difference, but in the same breath I worry about how much of a difference it would have made- it could have made things better, or utterly ruined our friendship.
And then there's a part of me that's asking me what the heck I'm thinking, since it's most likely they would never accept it. It's telling me to get a good look at myself, then asking me who in their right mind would accept those words coming from someone like me. Telling me that I was better off not saying anything, and that I was only avoiding disappointment.
But there's still that little piece of me gently tugging, saying, "But what if he had said 'Yes'?..."
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2 comments:
Wow, yeah, I know a little bit about how that feels. I kept something locked up for a few years before I finally told them. I'll tell you, it is like having a huge burden lifted, when you finally say something, but it also opens a Pandora's box, things will never exactly be the same, and situations come up that you never thought possible.
But at the same time it can be over-rated, all this "coming clean". For me, I have now found someone who I couldn't be happier with.
Before I said anything to the girl in High School, it was "What if she says no", now I think about how much I would be missing out on if she had said yes, and things had worked out.
There will always be a "what if", you can end up finding the situation you wanted tomorrow, and think "what if I'd said something to that guy in High School, and he had said yes"?
It will all come down to you, all I'm saying is that things will probably work out no matter what you decide (if things are meant to be, then they will probably happen).
It will all come down to you, and what you decide. I don't think there is a definite right or wrong answer here, it is whatever you feel is best. You can be brave and confront the person, or you can be brave and go on hoping/knowing that one day your life will work out.
why hello!!! its your beloved waldorf student megan!! woot!
so yea, i totally know where you are coming from, got the what-ifs after i graduated. whats even better is having thoughts about what happened to all the people you thought were friends in highschool, why havent you kept in touch with any of them after your graduated stuff like that. but in the end it should all work out to your advantage..hopefully!
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